Every practice has its own rules about who can attend and when. Check with the office first, and let your partner lead on what she wants to share. Her provider's guidance is the one that applies to her.
Before the appointment
A few minutes of preparation changes what the appointment feels like for both of you.
- Know the date and time, and put it in your own calendar, not only hers
- Ask what she wants you to bring up. Her questions come first
- Ask what you may want to ask. Partners often have their own questions about the plan, work and recovery
- Check the logistics: parking, how long it usually takes, whether you can come in
Questions to ask her beforehand
- How are you feeling about this appointment?
- Is there anything you've noticed since last time that you want to mention?
- What do you want me to remember for you?
- Do you want me to speak up, or mostly listen?
During the visit
Take notes if she'd like you to. Writing down what the provider says, such as dates, names of tests and what happens next, frees her to listen. If something is unclear, it is fine to ask the provider to explain it again.
After the visit
- Ask how she's feeling about what was said
- Go over what you each heard, and write down the next date and anything to follow up on
- Keep a running list of questions for the next visit so neither of you has to hold it alone
Dividing it up as a couple
Before the baby arrives, talk through who holds what: appointments and calls, meals, laundry and errands, night feeds, and the things only one of you tends to remember. It is easier to say it out loud before you need it.
A night-shift handoff for the early weeks
When you take turns at night, a short handoff helps: when the last feed was and how long it lasted, the last diaper, how the baby has slept, and what you need next. It keeps either of you from having to carry the whole picture.
Nuga lets you share the remembering
A partner can be invited into the journey with a code, so the dates, the questions and what the doctor said live in one place, not only in her head.
Download on the App Store Available nowNuga supports your pregnancy with information and tools. It does not diagnose, and it does not replace your midwife, doctor, or maternity unit. Your provider's own schedule and instructions always come first.